Following God’s Path For Me

When I was in Georgia camping at a state park, after getting my campsite set up, I sat on a swing next to the lake. I was talking with God and asking God to help my mind be still, because I was on my way back to Florida, cutting my trip shorter than I wanted, and I was wondering what was going to happen, how much time I would have before my health gets much worse, where I was going to stay, how much more time would I have to live, etc.  God took over the meditation and let me know that He/She has a plan for me and I don’t need to know what it is in advance. I received the message that it will unfold as it’s supposed to and all I have to do is stay in today, in the moment, and know that I am being provided for and taken care of.  It was a cold, windy, and sunny day. God said my journey will be like this day, there will be some windy times, and there will be quiet times, warm times, etc. It’s part of my journey. I was also given the message that I am walking towards God and that God’s love is waiting for me, along with people that know and love me and will welcome me.  I felt such peace come over me. I know in my heart that this is true.

So, as I was driving back to south Florida, I called my friend Vanessa to find out if her condo is currently rented and it was. So I went to the RV Park in Deerfield Beach where I spent the winter months and got a spot there for a month. I could extend the time if I wanted. It is like a ghost town in the summer, not very many campers or residents, in the winter it’s packed full.,

Anyway, while Vanessa was here over Memorial Day weekend, her tenant moved out. Vanessa found out 2 weeks before, but I didn’t know it.  The tenant moved out on Monday, so we went to see the condition of the condo. Turns out it was clean and in ready for someone to move in. The tenant’s lease was not up for several months, she left before it ended.

Vanessa asked if I would want to rent it, and after a few minutes of discussion, I decided to do it. It benefits both of us, and we both felt this is a God deal, and the path I am supposed to take. Tuesday, we came over and cleaned the condo just to make sure it is sanitized. Amazing, what timing, to have the condo ready for lease while Vanessa was here?  We went to the management company, I filled out an application and lease agreement, Vanessa said she and the others at the condo association approve of me renting the unit. I got approved the next day, Wednesday. Continually, God is showing me the way, and letting me know that I am being taken  care of in an extraordinary way.

The condo has a sofa, TV, dresser, and dining room table and chairs. I needed a bed and my dear nurse friend Vanessa suggested that I get an electric hospital bed since I will most probably be needing it in the near future. Also, most of the time in my camper, I am laying on my sofa/bed and reading. Being horizontal seems to be the least painful for me since there less pressure on my organs than when I sit straight up in a chair. I went to a medical supply to check the cost and it was very costly.  I was telling Pam about it and she suggested going to Craig’s list to see if there is one available. It turns out there were several for sale. I called two of the people with ads, and decided to buy one of the beds.  For a great price of $275, I got a fully electric, twin size adjustable hospital bed with a mattress and guardrails.  It was delivered and set up the next day, which was Thursday, the same day I moved in to the apartment.  Again, another sign that this is the way it’s supposed to be.

During the day on Thursday, between the rainstorms, I moved some things from my camper into the apartment. When my friend Bruce got off work he came and helped me move the rest of my things from the camper to the apartment, which is on the 2nd floor of a 2 story building, it’s a corner unit and there are lots of windows. I am learning to ask for help when I need it, and I find it’s getting easier to ask, and my friends are so happy to be helping me.

I was talking with Bruce’s wife, Vivian, the other night when we were all having dinner, and I told her that by being in the apartment, if or when the time comes that I am no longer able to stay by myself, especially at night, that I can ask her and my other friends to come stay with me. I have several girlfriends that said they would gladly stay with me.  I can even have hospice and home health come here, if that’s how it’s supposed to be. Maybe I can avoid having to go to a hospital, which I don’t really want to do. I’ve had my fill of hospitals in my lifetime, but if that’s what has to happen, oh well.  It will unfold as God wants it to.

Today, Friday, I went shopping and bought some rugs and other things to make it feel like home. There are a few pieces of furniture I would like to get, so that will be a few outings in the next week or so. Since I now have a full size fridge with a large freezer, I can buy things I couldn’t fit in my tiny camper fridge.  Of course, top of the list, something I have not eaten in a long, long, time… waffles and ice cream. I bought frozen waffles, I toast them and make an ice cream sandwich… yummmm.  In the late 1960s when I worked in New York City, vendors on the street corners sold ice cream sandwiches which were waffles and ice cream. I loved them then and still do to this day. I bought a cherry ice cream with chocolate pieces, and also a mint ice cream with chocolate pieces, it should make for an interesting snack. I also bought my other favorite… fudgsicles (fudge bars).  I still do not have an appetite very often, it’s mostly that I look at the clock and say it’s lunchtime or dinnertime and time to eat. Snacking is also something I try to do periodically throughout the late afternoon and evening. I eat what I can, some days it’s more than other days. Doctor Borrows says to eat what I can, when I can.

I think my tumor is still growing, it feels like it is getting more painful, and putting more pressure on my stomach and other organs. I can tell in subtle ways that my insides are changing, and my back is starting to hurt more too.  All symptoms of the progression of my health condition deteriorating. We still have no timeframe for how long I have, it’s up to God and I haven’t been informed.  In some ways that is good, in others it’s not. This uncertainty is a bit unsettling at times. I am still enjoying life every day. We never know when it’s our last day, or even hour or minute. The people in Oklahoma last week didn’t know when they ate lunch that day that a tornado would come through their city in a few hours and change their lives, and take lives, buildings, etc. When I lived in Texas, there were several times a tornado came through our city, or nearby, it was really scary and it didn’t cause anywhere near the damage that Oklahoma and other places experienced. My heart goes out to all of them.

On a happier note, I’ll be having another exciting experience in a couple of weeks, hopefully, depending on the weather. There is a Goodyear Blimp base in the town next to where I live, a special dear friend contacted them on my behalf, unknownst to me, and I have been gifted a ride in the Goodyear Blimp, named Spirit of Innovation, and I can take a few of my friends. We were supposed to go today, but it rained so it was postponed. So, if all goes well, the ride will take place on Thursday, June 13th, so watch for a story and pictures after that once in a lifetime experience. I’m so very excited, and of course once again, I feel so very loved, cared about, and I am forever grateful and humble.

I just remembered, I want to tell you another miracle, the city where I am now living, in Vanessa’s apartment, is the same city that I worked for as the city clerk for 10 years. I retired in June 2011. Another miracle??? No, of course not, it’s God’s plan. I was at the grocery store and saw two of the firefighters there that were at my Share the Journey/Celebrate Life party in March before I left on my trip. I told them I had to abort my trip and come back due to my health getting worse. I also told them that I am going to be living in the city in an upstairs apartment and if I need help getting up and down the stairs that I will call the fire department and they said call anytime. When I saw the police and fire chiefs, the city administrator, and others at my party, they all told me anytime I need anything to let them know, that was before I even had any clue that I would be living in the city. I am also friends with the manager of the grocery store here and he said let him know if I need anything, I can even get my groceries delivered.  How blessed am I????  I can’t even express it in words. I keep thinking my heart is so full of love and blessings that it can’t keep adding them without bursting, but I’m realizing our hearts can fill with limitless expansion without bursting. That’s about it for now.  Thank you so much for all the love, prayers, and caring. It truly means so very much.

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3 Responses to Following God’s Path For Me

  1. Albert Gray Eagle says:

    The outcome of a journey is never known til its over. You are a precious soul my dear friend. God loves you and will hold your hand through the very last step you take

  2. Carol, thank you for sharing your journey and your faith with so many people. You gave donations to the Police Dept., Fire Dept., and the Long County Public Library in Ludowici Georgia when you came through a few months ago. I regret that I didn’t get to meet you, but your website has allowed me to somewhat take the journey with you. Not only are you an amazing person, but you have so many friends, and to have a friend you must be one first. I find myself comforted by your words when I feel I should be a comforter to you. I thank God that our paths briefly crossed and you are an inspiration to me. May God grant you peace and tranquility in the times ahead.

  3. Jon says:

    Carol I pray that the Lord will comfort you every day as you walk through this ordeal with your health. It is so often easier to worship Him in times of peace and prosperity. What a blessing to read your faithful testimony during this trying time. Thank you for sharing. I will stand up, take two steps, and praise the Lord every time I feel like my circumstances are overwhelming me. God bless you!

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