Beginning a New Journey

After much prayer and consideration, and talking with my doctor today, I decided instead of continuing on my journey towards Montana, Idaho, Washington, and then towards Albuquerque, Oklahoma, Texas, and back to Florida, that I would take a week or two and head directly back to Florida.

When I started this trip on April 1st, I had all the intentions of making the complete trip around the USA, but realistically I knew it was doubtful. I thought I might make it to Montana, but somehow my intuition was only as far as Knoxville. Which as the situation turns out in actuality is what happened.  Last night Sharma and I watched the weather around the country, and it seems that there is flooding and snow in much of the country still, especially where I was headed. My next direction was heading northwest through Illinois and that is where there is severe flooding. I would have had to make detours around these areas, and also the ones with snow.  In June 2011 when I did my first full time trip, I drove through Missouri, Iowa, and Nebraska where farms, fields, and houses were flooded.  I also had many detours due to washed out roads and bridges.  I did get to see lots of back roads and scenic sights due to the detours. I also found many places such as Yellowstone, Grand Teton, Crater Lake, Mount Ranier, and other places still deep in snow, but it was beautiful to see even though parts of the parks were closed due to the snow.

Reality is really setting in now.  Its becoming more evident that the tumors, scar tissue, and adhesions are growing, interacting, and causing more internal turmoil.  It feels like I have alien parts growing inside of me and I know I have no control over them, other than taking medicine for pain or discomfort relief, to some extent, when I take my medicine.  I can’t take it if I’m driving and driving with the abdominal pain is not fun. I’ve done it for several years, more so lately. It also is not probably very safe since I try to keep my focus on driving safely. Before leaving on this trip, I bought travel insurance so if something happened me and my camper would be taken back to Florida. I also have many friends that would have come and driven my camper home, flown with me if need be, etc. But I prefer to still be independent and do it on my own. That has also influenced my decision to go back now, while I still can do it safely.

My decision to head back does not come lightly. It’s been a difficult choice. Many of you know I have fought hard, I didn’t want this thing to beat me, but it will in the end. I have put up a great challenge to it and for a few years I have been winning the challenge. Look at all I have seen, done, and experienced!!!  I’ve over 80 albums posted in my photo gallery.  Since I bought my camper van about 7 1/2 years ago, I put about 53,000 miles on it.  I’ve had a great time, and a great life. Especially the past 22 months that I have been traveling around the country. I drove about 12,000 miles a year the past 2 years.

I was hoping to make it to canoe journey in Washington State in early August, and of course the Albuquerque Balloon Fiesta in early October, and the Thanksgiving Fair in Waco.  It’s not going to happen, but I did get to have these experiences the past 2 years.

Having quality time with my friends and family has been important to me.  My trips were planned to see my friends around the country, while having fun and exploring between the places where they live.  Along the way, I got to meet new people, make new friends and share stories and adventures with others. What a gift and a blessing to be able to do this and so much more. To be able to live a life I dreamed about for over 40 years.  Dreams do come true, sometimes they take time and planning, and of course action on our part.

By heading back to Florida now, I am hoping that I will still have many more days where I feel okay and will be able to have quality time with my family and friends. When I talked with my doctor this morning, we discussed how we feel my medical condition will progress.  I’m guessing that even though I am still functioning pretty good, that my insides are worse than I know.  We are going to work together so that my pain is managed, and my health condition is not going to be deteriorating for a long time. I have watched people I love die slowly over many, many months. It’s tough on the friends and family that watch it. I don’t want that to happen with me.

I am so very blessed.  For many years I have told God that if possible I want to know in advance so I can have time to say goodbye, travel, finalize legal details, etc. I got that wish.  One of the other HUGE blessings I have been given is that I look like myself. Maybe a little more weight than I’m used to, but that’s better than looking like a walking skeleton.  People looking at me, and also me looking at myself, have no idea what’s happening inside my body.  I am so thankful.  I think it’s been easier this way in some respects.  In other ways, I’m sure it’s more difficult, especially for my family and friends.  When I went to make funeral arrangements, or check into hospice care, the people I spoke with didn’t believe it was for me. They said I look healthy.  It is really a blessing that I was able to do these things for myself. I have all arrangements I can think of made the way I want them done.  I was hoping for another ride in a hot air balloon while I’m still alive, but it will be okay if it happens with my ashes. I guess I can get a ride if I fly to see my friend Scott in Albuquerque, or find a balloonist in Florida. I can also remember vividly the 3 times I went up in Albuquerque, especially when looking at the pictures. In fact, last night Sharma and I were looking at my balloon pictures and it was a great reminder. I felt like I was there in person.

I am leaving my camper to my friend and trustee Cindy.  She has gone camping with me a few times when we could get away for a weekend.  I’ve shown her how to post stories and photos on my website, so she may continue stories as she takes trips. My camper named Molly would love to go on more explorations. She’s in great condition and has lots more miles to go.  Maybe some of my friends and Cindy’s friends will borrow her and take trips.  So every now and then check this site and see if there are any more travels.  I’m going to ask my friend Pam who set up this website for me to post a few final blogs, and maybe photos ending my journey on earth, and starting my new journey. She is going to take my ashes to Albuquerque and go up in Scott’s balloon to scatter them.  Maybe she will explore Albuquerque when she is there and post some pictures of her trip.

I will continue to update this website, either with stories about my trips on the way back to Florida, and when I am there, and also with health updates as I can.  When my time comes, I know I will be with God, at peace, and my spirit will be flying more free than it is now.  I thank all of you for your love, support, encouragement, friendship and so much more. Words cannot express sufficiently my feelings.

We are not survivors… we are conquerers.  I’ve beaten cancer 3 times, although what is happening to me now is a result of the numerous surgeries and procedures I have had to have because of the results and complications of cancer. I have been very active for many years in our local American Cancer Society Relay For Life event.  A few years ago our local sheriff spoke at the opening ceremony. He said he is not a cancer survivor, he conquered it.  I like that word. It’s a more positive, powerful word.

Enjoy life, live it fully every day.  Appreciate everything, even the challenges, they make us stronger and give others the opportunity to help each other and make us more connected and stronger.

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1 Response to Beginning a New Journey

  1. Albert Gray Eagle says:

    We were connected so long before we met. I was saddened by your comments not because of your illness or your suffering. Many of us have suffered in many different ways. I am saddened because I knew you made this world a better place. My faith is truly strong as I know yours is also, so whatever happens I know we will be able to spend plenty of time together under totally different circumstances. Your journeys have been an inspiration to me, and what you have lived is something that I have always wanted to do, but never had the resources. I know you have touched many lives as you have mine, and will continue to do so until my journey runs out of paths to walk. Peace my friend. I love you.

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